Why I Chose to Stay Home With My Kids (Even When It Felt Financially Risky)

When my husband was early in his career, he was making about $50,000 a year. At the same time, we had just bought a house and welcomed our first child. It wasn’t exactly the moment most financial advisors would recommend making a risky life decision.

But that’s exactly what we did.

I decided to stay home with our kids.

We didn’t really have extra money, and the idea of living on one income made us nervous. Still, what we wanted most wasn’t a bigger budget. It was more time. Time with our children while they were little. Time to raise them ourselves rather than rushing through the day between daycare and work.

This choice worked for our lifestyle. It isn’t a blueprint for how everyone should live. Every family is different. But for us, it made sense.

At the time, I was an actress. Acting is a strange career financially. Many auditions, very few roles, and the pay for those roles often doesn’t reflect the effort required to get them. Sometimes it even cost me money just to attend auditions.

So stepping back from acting while my children were young didn’t feel like sacrificing a huge income. What it did feel like was stepping into a completely different chapter of life.

Learning to Live on One Income

When we made the decision, we truly didn’t know if it would work financially.

Looking back, it was possible because we simplified a lot.

We didn’t take vacations when the kids were little. The first real trip we took was on our ten-year anniversary, when our kids were five and three.

We rarely ate out.

I didn’t buy new clothing.

There were no impulse purchases.

But there was one thing we refused to compromise on: good food.

We wanted our kids to eat well, so instead of spending money on restaurants or takeout, we invested in the tools to cook at home. Good knives, solid kitchen appliances, things that helped us prepare meals from scratch.

Cooking became part of our daily rhythm, and it ended up shaping our family culture more than we ever expected.

The Loneliness No One Talks About

One of the hardest parts of staying home had nothing to do with money.

It was loneliness.

I suddenly went from a social world of auditions, classes, and coworkers to spending almost all my time with babies and toddlers. I didn’t have many adults to talk to during the day.

Sometimes I would see people I knew from my acting life on social media. Their careers were moving forward while mine seemed paused. That comparison was difficult.

I worried that casting directors would forget about me.

I worried that when my kids were older, I would have to start my career from scratch.

And on a more personal level, I sometimes struggled with my identity. I felt like I was “just a mom.” Being young and stepping so fully into motherhood so quickly was a big adjustment.

The Hidden Financial Wins

At the same time, something unexpected happened.

Being home allowed me to develop passions I never had time for before.

Before having kids, I didn’t cook much at all. In fact, I didn’t really know how to cook until my first son was born. I wanted him to eat healthy food, so I started teaching myself.

I made everything from scratch.

I pureed all of their baby food.
I cooked daily meals.
I experimented constantly in the kitchen.

Without realizing it, I was slowly building skills that saved us money and improved our lifestyle at the same time.

There were also practical financial benefits:

• No daycare costs

• No daily commuting

• No convenience spending like takeout

• Fewer impulse purchases

Even though daycare is relatively affordable in Quebec, it still would have cost a significant portion of what I might have earned.

Over time, our home life naturally evolved toward a slower, simpler way of living.

I started gardening.
Cooking more from scratch.
Repairing things instead of replacing them.

Looking back, this period is really where my connection to underconsumption and intentional living began.

The Way Our Kids Grew Up

When the kids were little, our days followed their rhythm.

We went to the playground twice a day where they met other children. They had friends, but they also spent most of their time at home with us and their grandparents.

We did a lot of crafts.

We cooked together.

They helped fold laundry and prepare meals.

I also limited screen time quite a bit. My oldest didn’t use an iPad until he was around seven, and we kept TV to about an hour a day.

Instead of constant entertainment, they developed patience and creativity.

They learned life skills simply by being around everyday activities.

And something else happened naturally: the two boys became incredibly close. They played together constantly and built a deep bond that still exists today.

They are truly best friends.

The Hard Truth About Being a Stay-at-Home Parent

I also want to be honest about something.

Being a full-time parent is mentally exhausting.

People often say it’s like having two full-time jobs, and I completely understand that now. There’s no clock-out time. Even in the middle of the night, you’re still on duty.

For someone who had previously lived a very independent life as an actress, focusing mostly on my own schedule and goals, the shift into constant caregiving was intense.

I felt like I had been launched into adulthood very quickly.

Protecting even small moments of personal space became important.

For me, that sometimes looked like something simple: taking a shower alone and using that time to mentally reset.

But I also knew I needed to keep part of my identity alive.

Carving Out Time for Myself

Eventually I started doing small things just for me.

Once or twice a week in the evenings, I took acting classes. It reminded me that this part of my life still existed and that I could return to it later.

At one point I also took Taekwondo classes.

These activities allowed me to interact with adults, meet people my age, and step outside my role as “mom” for a little while.

Ironically, those breaks made me a better parent. When I came back home, I felt refreshed and happy to be with my kids again.

I even returned to acting after a few years. When my oldest was around three or four, I slowly started auditioning again. Many auditions could be done from home, so I was still present with my children most of the time.

What I Would Do Differently

Looking back, there’s one thing I would change.

I would have tried harder to maintain friendships.

Some of my friends didn’t have kids yet. Others had kids but very different schedules. It wasn’t always easy to stay connected.

But if I could go back, I would carve out more time to see friends and talk with other adults.

That social connection matters more than you realize when you’re deep in the early parenting years.

Who This Choice Is (and Isn’t) For

Staying home with children isn’t the “better” choice. Working parents are incredible too.

Every family has different circumstances, financial realities, and personal preferences.

This lifestyle might not work well for someone who:

• Loves being out and meeting new people every day

• Wants financial independence and personal spending money

• Enjoys shopping, fashion, or frequent travel

For me, it worked because I’m naturally more introverted. I like staying home, cooking, gardening, and creating things.

Even then, I still needed adult interaction and time for myself.

Looking Back Now

Today my kids are 18 and almost 16.

If I had to answer the question: Was it worth it?

Absolutely.

The boys are incredibly close. They’re creative, kind, and curious. Both of them are content creators, and one of them has already monetized his YouTube channel.

My oldest is now studying engineering in college.

More than anything, they are good people.

We’re still very close as a family. Even now that they’re older, they genuinely like spending time with us. When we go to restaurants or take trips, they want to come along.

And I’m grateful that I got to witness every stage of their childhood.

Their first steps.
Their first words.
All the small moments that disappear quickly.

Because the truth is something every parent eventually realizes:

Children are kids for a very short time.

Most of your life, you’ll know them as adults.

And I’m so grateful that I got to be there for those early years.